This is certainly the blog post I never thought I’d be writing but equally, I knew I would have to address this at some point. So this week I want to share with you what’s been happening in my life the last year and why we need to choose our happiness no matter what.
I’m single and that’s certainly not the words I ever expected to be sharing with you all. It’s no lie that yes I did manifest my dream man, yes I did meet the one and yes he is my twin flame. These are all hard realities I’ve had to face and accept that actually regardless of what was two years ago I have to be honest with what is. The decision was tough to finally walk away for good and if you’re a fellow twin you know this process is complex. I don’t want this to be a negative spin on my relationship with him or the twin flame connection but all I can do is be real with you and explain why I’m in this place.
I knew there would be expectations and answers I probably couldn’t answer so that’s why I’ve waited so long to go public with this. I wanted to fully understand why this all happened myself first, but truthfully I still don’t. All I can say is there is always a wild card with twins, we live in a universe of infinite possibilities and timelines all affected by free will choices. That’s what I feel has been the deciding factor in this life – his free will. As twins our journey here is to up-level, heal and come into union but union doesn’t mean a relationship. It means inner union or harmony. Yes some twins do end up together eventually, and some don’t it all depends on what you’ve both chosen to do in this lifetime and of course – free will. I know people will have opinions on me walking away or think I’m disowning what I am. This has been one of the many complexities I’ve faced over the last year – but the best advice I was given from an incredible lady who is a twin flame herself in union (you know who you are and thank you for hearing me) was ‘it’s up to you whether you want to spend your life with this person and if this is what you truly want’. This hit me hard as after all I’ve been through in my life I realised I have not come this far to settle for awful behaviour. I don’t want to paint anyone in a bad light ever but no person should tolerate what was my reality. My whole life was happy and abundant apart from one thing, my relationship. I did my inner work religiously, I up-levelled, I A* it all, yet he chose to not do his work. Now obviously that is my 3D human perception of his patterns and behaviour but sometimes we have to be honest and say ‘is this really what I want or deserve?’ My spirit guide said to me in this moment of the glass ceiling shattering and seeing the truth ‘You’re not a tree, You’re not planted or stuck. Get up and walk the fuck away’. Sometimes we need a good push from our spirit guides to remember actions speak louder than words and that we stay in situations we’ve outgrown to cling on or stay small when really our purpose is to step into our full power and bloom.
Truthfully I knew he was pushing me to take back my power, and over the last year, I did feel very powerless to this all. I always felt the ball was in his court, and whether he deemed me worthy of being his wife. These were all patterns I had to heal and face – it’s been dark, it’s been lonely but the transformation I’ve gone through has been life changing and I’m proud of who I am today. I’m proud that no matter what I’ve shown up, done my best and always shown love to everyone in my life. Amongst this illusion, I forgot that actually I could get up and walk away at any time and that my decision was to sit and stay in that unhappiness and well nothingness. It wasn’t a life, it wasn’t an anything it was a waiting game for someone who didn’t see what was sat right in front of them.
For me personally, I’m choosing a soulmate now, that’s not because I’ve given up or any bullshit twin flame teachers would give you on this. I’ve chosen myself because I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy in my relationship and I don’t think anyone should tolerate being treated like this. I have been really honest with myself that this person isn’t what I need in this lifetime – he isn’t the person I first met or expected him to be. Again, life is a strange one I’m still trying to navigate it like we all are. What I’ve come to learn along this journey is that when another person is involved our future is never set in stone, everything is a potential until it’s decided here in the psychical world by the individuals which can be a hard pill to swallow. It’s also weird that I even need to address this online but I was open about what this was so felt some explanation was needed. I don’t know what could happen in my future and truthfully I don’t think I want to, I hold no expectations but all I do know for a fact is that I’m finding my happiness again, I can love again and the right man will step up to the plate and be ready for this like I am. I’ve been dating again for the last month or so and I’ve met some great guys who even as friends have taught me a lot about myself and that there is more to life than twin flames. We have a whole group of soul family who are just as epic and soulmates who can and will step up for you.
I’ve chosen to do this blog post and nothing else because I don’t want to give this any more airtime than it deserves. I knew I had to address this in order to be able to move forward in my life and knew it was a big deal so wanted to make sure I did this when it felt right. So please don’t ask for videos or content on this as it’s just not something I’m prepared to share at the moment or understand fully as I’ve said. I’m not a twin flame teacher and never have been, all I can give you is my perspective of what happened and what I understand at this point which is free will. I want to end this by saying since making this decision I’m starting to find my spark again and happiness in my life, for the first time over in a year I’m beginning to feel happy again through choosing myself and seeing where this life takes me. My friends during this time have been my earth angels, I honestly don’t know where I would be without them (you know who you are and from the bottom of my heart thank you for always holding me and keeping me strong). The way they’ve rallied together to always make sure I was held, supported and loved during big events in my life I will never forget. My friends who would check in on me, meditate with me, take me out and help me smile again – thank you.
What I want to end this on is why we should always choose our happiness. I was so masked by what I thought I should be doing to the outside world and as a twin that I totally forgot that I had a choice in this too. That in my decision to end the bullshit and low-level behaviour this would be the only way to create change in my life and free myself. Remember the universe gives you what you tolerate, and you can’t rush this process. Everything has its time and you can’t force yourself to walk away or commit to someone it has to be done authentically. No one was wrong that’s also what I do want to say two years ago I did manifest him, he was my dream man, the one whatever you want to call it but he wasn’t ready to step up or follow his purpose and that’s okay but that doesn’t mean I have to condemn myself to a life of waiting or shrinking myself to please someone. That’s not MY purpose here, far from it and I’d be the biggest hypocrite ever if I was settling for misery in my personal life yet telling you all to live your best life. Another question I expect on people’s minds is ‘well why didn’t you manifest it improving?’ My answer to that is simply we can’t mess with free will of course, I tried to manifest a better outcome/relationship but if someone doesn’t want to step up, heal and help themselves you can’t make them – as the saying goes you can take a horse to water but you can’t make them drink it. It was really hard to navigate through what was the right or wrong thing to do in this situation but at the end of the day the only decision that mattered here was my own and my own dedication to being happy and authentic in this life. So here I am a new and improved Emma navigating her way to happiness again and in pursuit of finding the right man who is ready to step up and commit.
I hope this blog post has helped you and even reminded you to always know your worth in any situation. You don’t have to settle for things in life that don’t bring you joy that’s not YOUR purpose. Sometimes we can’t be all love and light and hope for the best, while yes that’s important we also need to be strong enough to witness and walk away from anything that is not serving our highest good. The one thing we should never do is sacrifice our happiness for others, and I was tired of being unhappy. Remember the universe never leaves us at a loss everything is merely transformed. I hate that I even have to say this but sadly I do, if you have an opinion on this or twin flames, sense anything or feel ‘called’ to tell me anything please don’t. Respect my authenticity here, that I’m human and navigating through a big lesson in my life. No one was wrong and just don’t be an idiot here life is complex and if you were really connected you’d get that. Onwards and upwards as they say and what I do know is there is a reason to all of this and a really happy one which one day will be revealed to me. Always choose happiness and listen to your truth because it can be easy to get lost in the outside noise of what is the right or wrong thing to do and the truth is – the right decision is what is best for you always. I hope you all have a great week whatever you’re up to and I’m sending you all lots of love xx
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.”―Rumi