Body confidence is something we can all relate to, no matter how old you are, your religion, ethnicity or sex. With constant pressure from the media to look a certain way and to follow the trends is it any wonder we doubt our looks…
I have had body dismorphia since I was about 13. It was when I started high school and I grew boobs and guys suddenly became important. I have had a slim build growing up as I was so tall. My friends started talking about diets and I felt I needed to also to keep up with them. I do believe I was a ugly duckling a bit. No boys ever fancied me or asked me out until I was 16. I think from 16 onwards I found my style and I grew into my body, that’s how I would put it anyway.
When I was 14 my friend Becky and I tried the grape diet to shed a few pounds (which we didn’t even need to loose), I’ve always had a muffin top it’s hereditary on my mum’s side we always have them. This consisted of eating grapes for a week and having one meal a day. Obviously the diet was stupid and we ended up passing out in PE so please do not do these ridiculous diets they don’t work. Even when at my skinniest I still have a jelly belly! In the past few years a few strangers have made pregnancy comments a few times but now it really doesn’t bother me as I know I’m not fat or pregnant looking! As I turned 16 I was a tall lanky size 8 but still when I looked in the mirror I was just an ugly lump who no one liked. The pressures of media and the pop culture were bad enough when I was at school. It must be awful for teenagers today as it has got so much worse.
When I turned 18 it was like a flick had switched in my head I finally saw how skinny I was and wanted to stop. I started to enjoy food and relax more I had a boyfriend at the time and knew he loved me regardless of my size. Make-up has defienlty boosted my confidence and I started to feel pretty and get noticed more. Since putting on some weight as well I really do feel I suit it so much better and feel so much happier on the inside. In 2013 I became really ill when I fell into debt living with my ex, I went from a size 12 to a size 6 in the space of 2 weeks. This caused alarm and I had many tests, operations and procedures done to work out why I wouldn’t put on weight. This was such a scary time and I didn’t see then that I was punishing myself by not eating. I knew if I ate I would feel sick and anxious so I simply had 1 cup a soup a day! This was all down to my depression and my ex being a degrading, manipulative sociopath. This certainly didn’t help me feel great or wonderful at all. That Christmas I did my first press article and looking back now I look awful, I am bones, my clothes don’t fit and god my hair! Shame those pictures will always be on the internet now.
Now I’m 22 and it’s 2 years on since that phase of my life. I’m a size 12 and truthfully I can finally say I am 100% body confident and happy in life. This is down to my partner being so loving and supportive for sure as he reinforces he doesn’t care what dress size I am or how much pizza I eat he will always love me for me. I’m not fat and I certainly have gained broad shoulders and a bust in the last year which does make me appear bigger, but with the right cut and style of clothes I am able to overcome this and feel happy in what I wear. Stretch marks are the scars I walk away with from my battles and to be honest they really don’t phase me anymore I’m not Beyonce and I’m certainly not going to be booty shaking in a leotard so who will even see them! Bio Oil has massively helped me to maintain and reduce them over time. It’s certainly not a quick fix and I’m sure they will get worse in the future as I have children, but I know no matter what these marks show me just how far I’ve come and how loved I am today.
So a message to you all, no matter how crap you feel when you look in the mirror you are beautiful, you are loved. Stuff what anyone thinks of you. I love pizza, cake, and all the naughty things and I equally enjoy tasty healthy food. It’s all about having the right balance but enjoying your food and lifestyle. You only get one shot at this life and I would rather be happy and living life to full, rather than worrying what other people think of my body. Chances are and I used to do this a lot, I always felt people were watching me and judging me. What’s to say that person doesn’t feel exactly the same and hates themselves but just can’t speak out. Also if you are being bullied or hated on chances are the bully is more self conscious about themselves and how they look rather than worrying about you.
I chose my Blog Awards photo as my body confidence image, because I felt fantastic that night. It is very rare that dresses look right on me and this one made me feel so confident, although I came 2nd that night I still held my head high knowing how far I have come in self confidence, my anxiety and in life.
Body shaming is vile and no human deserves to be bullied or victimised for how they look. We are all beautiful, loved and are incredible creations. If we all as a whole spent more time complimenting people and being positive towards body image I reckon the world would be a much healthier and happier place.
Bio-Oil have teamed up with Body Gossip to bring you a fantastic competition! Share your #bodyphilosophy at http://www.mybodyphilosophy.com/ and you could WIN a 60ml bottle of Bio-Oil each week. 10 of you, my lucky readers will also get to WIN a Bio-Oil 60ml bottle each by commenting below with your ‘Body Philosophy’. Good Luck Everyone!