Imposter syndrome is real and thriving not only in the self-help industry but in many walks of life. I thought I was the only one to feel feelings of unworthiness or question why I was here throughout my career but after this conversation kept coming up time and time in my coaching sessions I knew I wasn’t alone. So this week I want to share with you how to stop feeling like an imposter in your life.
Who am I to do that?
Who am I to say that? Who am I to do this? Why would people listen to me? I feel like a fraud! Are all comments my ego’s made in the past and I’m sure you can relate to also. I remember 6 years ago when I started my money-saving business thinking but who am I? Why would people want to listen to me? What do I know about money I don’t even have a maths GCSE? Oh, how my ego tried to stop me. I carried on regardless and followed my passion because I knew deep down how much I wanted to do it and it would help people. I never have and still, don’t claim to be an expert in any field I’ve worked in, I simply share my experiences and tips I’ve gathered along this journey. It was when my money-saving brand hit around half a million followers I got asked to go on ‘This Morning’ which is the biggest national daytime TV show here in the UK and present a regular money-saving slot to the nation! My ego piped up again and said but who are you to do that? You’re still just Emma why would people want to listen to you? I did it anyway and faced the fear because it was my dream to go on This Morning and once again even if my advice helped one person that’s what it was all for.
Again when I rebranded into spirituality and left my money-saving roots behind, I thought but who am I? What experience do I have to be a life coach? I was twenty-four at the time and felt right back at the beginning as I did four years prior when I started my first business. Even though I’d gained a whole ton of knowledge since creating my first business. My ego hadn’t changed and this is how I knew I had work to do.
A lot of us question ourselves because of our experience and this goes for any imposter situation in your life not just in running your own business or putting something out in the world. Imposter syndrome can happen in relationships, work and in families too. Many feel too scared to hit publish, speak up or feel accepted because they don’t feel worthy. Your wound here may stem back to an experience in your childhood or it could be a case of working on your self-love practice. It will be different for everyone. Maybe you’re just starting out in a new field of work and you feel like an imposter because you don’t feel like you have the experience – think about it would you have had the calling from the universe to apply if you weren’t and would your boss hire you if they didn’t believe in you and your capability?
In terms of your own message, purpose or if you do have your own business you’re also not an imposter, your LIFE is your experience and it’s all valid. We all have to start somewhere and our experience grows through our journey just like with anything – no one is born an expert in anything we have to learn everything from scratch. So the next time those thoughts come up from your ego say ‘thank you for the feedback ego but I am worthy and deserving of being here and I know the right people will find and resonate with my work.’
Confidence is not ‘they will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’
We question our worth based on what others will think of us, our work and their judgements. Think about it putting yourself out there or speaking up are all acts of vulnerability and our ego hates that! It would much rather we play small, hideaway and keep the peace for an easy life. When we show up and put ourselves out there we are opening ourselves up to potential ridicule, rejection and opinions. What if they don’t like me? Am I good enough? These are all calls to work on your worthiness and validation wound – every human feels imposter syndrome no matter how far along this spiritual journey they may be. It’s about knowing the real reason behind imposter syndrome and why it’s important that you keep showing up and putting yourself out there. Why do you seek validation and what will validation bring to you? Validation is a cover for permission – really what you’re seeking is permission to step into your power and be brave. So Queen here it is I’m giving you permission to shine because you were born worthy!
The Real Reason
Our fear deep down is not that we’re not qualified enough for this area of our life – it’s will we be liked? Will we be accepted? Today ask yourself in meditation or journal these prompts down…
- Why do I care what people think of me or my work?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if someone didn’t like it?
- Why is it important for me to share this message?
You’re not going to be for everyone and that’s just how life works. This is why we need so many amazing inspiring souls sharing their journey and experiences in the self-help industry for example because it means people have a great variety of content to relate to from all walks of life. Remember being your authentic self regardless is important and know that the right people who are meant to find your work always will – the universe will ensure that. Your uniqueness is your superpower and your story, work and advice are all valid and worthy of sharing if that’s what you feel called to do. Think of the people who your work is actually helping and be grateful you showed up Queen and are making a positive impact in this world because that’s the real celebration.
I hope this blog post has helped you recognise the imposter within your ego and how you can find peace in all area’s of your life even without that validation. Believe me, even with validation you still won’t believe it so it’s important to work on these wounds so you remember the real reason why you’re doing this in the first place. I’ve also launched a new freebie this week my ‘Spiritual Queen Weekly Worksheet’ is a free downloadable designed to keep you accountable in your day-to-day life and help you regularly manifest. If you’d like to take advantage of this freebie then please click here to claim it. As always please do let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. I hope you all have a great week whatever you’re up to and I’m sending you all lots of love xx