It’s the famous saying of if only I’d known back then what I know now when interviewing icons and people I would consider influencers I always ask ‘If you could tell your sixteen year old self anything what would it be?’ I love asking this question because the answer is always different and it’s great to hear their stories and what led them to where they are today.
Looking back to when I was sixteen back in 2009 my life looked very different, my beloved Nan has just passed away and this is something I still struggle with today. Losing someone with such a beautiful soul who taught me so much and yet wasn’t even blood related she was technically my step nan hit me hard. I had just started Sixth Form and was finding my feet in the world. I lived at home with my parents and I was itching to find my independence and my purpose in life. Career wise I felt very lost I knew I didn’t want to go to University once I’d completed Sixth Form, back then there was no support for students who wanted to go into employment. I knew I wanted to start a business but I had no idea how or when I would do it (law of attraction in early forms!)
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” Unknown
I had just started a relationship with my first proper boyfriend and we became close very quickly, I had to face adult things like sex, emotions and even a break up at the end of being sixteen. When I became seventeen I actually had a year of being single very similar to what’s happened this year in my life. I found myself, my spirituality and purpose. This is when I really felt like I’d planted the seeds of my future using the law of attraction. I used to meditate every day as I was very lonely at that age, I didn’t have many friends and the ones I did have didn’t understand that I followed the Buddhist way of life and wanted to explore spirituality. Being young it was very hard to be understood, it’s not cool to believe in God, Angels, karma, crystals e.t.c but even at that young age, I knew I would go on to do great things and that being spiritual was the way forward. Moving into my adult life that’s when I lost all my faith and entered into these life-changing relationships you all know so well by now. I deleted my old Facebook so I don’t actually have any photos of me at that age which does really upset me, but I think it was such a dark and lonely time for me I didn’t want to remember it.
So moving on to where I am now and if I had the chance to speak to my sixteen year old self what would I say? I certainly wouldn’t change anything as you all know I’m a big believer in fate and destiny what happened had to happen to bring all this happiness into my life now. I think I would like to say that I wouldn’t marry my first boyfriend or the next three after that. I wanted to find love so young and pinned all my hopes on young boys who had no clue. Now, it just makes me cringe as none of them were suited to me, and had I focused on other areas of my life i.e finding myself or even my education maybe I would be even stronger now? I would definitely tell myself that it get’s better, a common phrase but my childhood was so lonely I almost felt like I would never escape. Looking at how my friendship circles have changed over the years, I think I would explain that being a giver is a great thing in life and will reward you greatly but sometimes people will come into your life, use you and leave but they are important because they teach you valuable lessons. Men, or boys I should say…I would explain that boys will always be boys and no matter how much you try to change them their not your husband, stop trying to grow up so fast enjoy your time and remember that one day your Irish Prince Charming will come along and all the pain will certainly be worth it. I would also explain that the hunger feeling and passion in my stomach was something and at the right time it will drive you, motivate you and make all of your dreams happen. I would also say keep meditating, keep visualising because little do you realise that’s shaping your life now.
Finally, I would tell my sixteen year old self that she’s so loved, confident, happy and beautiful I don’t think I ever would have believed it back then but maybe coming from myself I would have seen how I am now and had hope. I’ve visualised throughout my life without even realising always imagining a more meaningful life, where I was pretty, independent, confident, loved and fulfilled little did I realise that it was there all along I just had to find it within myself and be grateful for my life, every single second of it.