I’ve been called to talk about this topic for a while now but I wanted to wait until the right time – after seeing a negative comment online from someone I used to know about myself as a coach I realised this wasn’t okay. That there is a massive misconception in the coaching world and followers who want to be coaches even came to me asking ‘I’ve run into so many people and they’ve told me I can’t help anyone until I help and solve my own problems. Do you think it’s true, that I can’t help anyone unless I solve all my own problems first?’
When I received this question on Instagram I knew it was time to write this blog post and share a big chunk of reality many are missing. There is a big pressure on coaches to have their shit together and be perfect examples of – living your best life constantly! Now I always say when looking for a coach you should go for someone who is where you want to be. I also agree that yes, you shouldn’t be at rock bottom you should have a hold on your life and feel aligned with your work to be able to serve others. So yes, I do see some truth in that statement and it’s important that you actively work on your issues and turn up for yourself and your work so that you can be the best version of yourself for you more than anything but of course your clients too. If you are showing the client the self-development they need to do, you of course need to be doing your work too.
Now, where I don’t agree with this is when people bash coaches for ‘life’ happening. Coaches are human too, I repeat they are not exempt from any lessons, hardships, bad moods or trauma. When I saw this comment so publically about how this person witnessed my life ‘falling apart’ and I shouldn’t have been coaching I was hurt. Not only because it was so uncalled for but because it was from someone who had never even witnessed my coaching sessions or had anything to do with my business.
I’ve always been upfront and honest with you all and last year I went through a big year which has been documented in my book very openly, one area of my life was struggling – that’s called life. My life was absolutely not falling apart, quite the opposite it was thriving I had my first book deal and was writing my first book, I sold my first business, I was planning events and I was going on lovely holidays too. Life was overall blessed for me, everything was positively growing and I did feel my life was in a great place despite one area being tested which let’s face it all of us have one thing we’d like to improve! I was dealing with it in the best way I knew how to and knew when it got too much. Sometimes I would close my client calendar for a week when I knew I couldn’t show up for my clients in the best way and retreat to heal myself and go within. That’s taking responsibility and knowing when I needed to rest. That’s what I do with all of my work and would advise anyone to do. When your working with spirituality and self-development everything is vibes and I would hate to let my clients down just to earn money. What frustrates me is that life happens, some things are unpredictable and it’s up to you as a coach to decide if you need time off. Just like with any career sometimes we need a break to deal with our own stuff and that’s okay, that’s healthy and a great way to deal with any healing that needs to occur.
“Regardless of whether you’re a coach or not, even when you do have your shit together – another lesson will always come along”
So can coaches have problems? Absolutely yes! Whether it’s a minor hiccup or a big change happening in your life it’s up to you to determine whether you can show up and feel in alignment to help someone in any given moment. You may need a day off or a week, allow yourself that time and don’t for one second think you’re a failure because something came up or happened. Regardless of whether you’re a coach or not, even when you do have your shit together – another lesson will always come along. We won’t stop learning until our last breath. Especially if you’re a coach, you are here to teach so you can bet the Universe is going to test you and up-level you so you can truly help people in the same positions. That’s the cyclic nature of life everything is about balance and growth, without the darkness we couldn’t have the light.
Life is not perfect or filtered, but you very rarely hear people posting about real life. The highs and the lows, because it doesn’t ‘sell’. People would love for you to believe they have a perfect life and are high-vibe love and light beings all the time. That’s not sustainable or realistic, we all have down days we are human and once again we are cyclic beings it’s part of our nature to ebb and flow. So the decision really lies within you here of whether you feel in alignment to coach. Trust your intuition and trust yourself more than anything because you are the only person who knows the real answer.
There absolutely is a responsibility and a duty of care that comes with coaching as I said, so make sure you are turning up for yourself as well as for your clients. This shouldn’t be unrealistic though and this shaming which mainly comes from other coaches and judgements is not needed! Everyone is on a unique life path and over anything trust your intuition here and block out any other judgements. If I had of listened to that comment I would be depriving myself of so much joy that comes with helping people and depriving my clients of that help too. This illusion that you must have ‘all’ your problems solved needs to stop every single person is a work in progress whether they want to admit it or not and it’s just another pedestal trick when we are all equal and one. So always remember, sometimes we will be thriving and feel in a great place in life and other times a new lesson will come along to up-level us and show us exactly why we chose this path in life to inspire and help people.
I hope this blog post has helped answer this question for you and thank you to my lovely followers who did ask this question because I would hate for you to feel like you’re not enough because of someone’s comments. As always please do let me know your thoughts in the comments box below and you can buy my book Spiritual Queen worldwide from here! I hope you all have a great week whatever you are up to and I’m sending you all lots of love xx