Validation is something I know many of us including myself have searched for throughout our lives to no avail. It always used to confuse me growing up and in my career as an adult why I wanted the approval of others and why I wasn’t receiving that big congratulations and support I thought was a given. So this week I wanted to share with you my tops tips and advice to be in how to be your biggest cheerleader in life…
In Your Career
I myself have received many rejections over the years for my work and could never work out why I wasn’t being snapped up by companies, brands or book publishers. I had everything the other influencers did and I kept feeling like something was wrong with me. It was only when pitching my first book I realised why – it’s because I’m so niche, people don’t get it and that’s okay. I wasn’t here to prove my worth to these people I was here to deliver my book which I knew was ready to come out into the world. After a series of rejections, I found my now book publisher one that didn’t want to change me, my message or my brand – they saw me for who I am and that was enough. Even now with book two I’m facing the same challenges with publishers and receiving more rejections this time WITH book sales figures. Again I had to hop on out of the comparison train and remember the Universe does this with my work a lot. I believe I get these rejections to show people there is a new way of running your business and even publishing books. Times are changing and you can absolutely do these things yourself in your business without that validation of having an outdated publisher and system that is crashing. I believe the Universe was protecting me all along and guiding me to the new way of publishing one which is much more lucrative and authentic to my message. For so long I felt like a failure because I didn’t get the shiny traditional publisher I wanted that meant validation to me. I realised through this process having my integrity and authenticity in my work was way more important to me than any validation. I did it I wrote a book, I got it published with a kick-ass spiritual publisher after being told it would receive a ‘lukewarm’ response and I wasn’t enough for various unrealistic reasons. Yet it’s been a #1 bestseller on Amazon, it continues to sell incredibly well each month and I’m now working on book two! So you can see sometimes you’ve got to believe in your message even when it feels like the whole world is against you, after many rejections and being told it won’t succeed – if your intuition is screaming at you to keep going trust that. I’m so glad I did because eventually, I found the best publisher for my message who did believe in me!
“If someone says you can’t do something or aren’t enough this or that – do it twice and take a photo”
In Your Relationships
Before my spiritual awakening, I always used to seek validation from my relationships. I thought a man could give me that, make me feel whole and happy. Yet the problem was they never did give me that and the truth was I was the one who had to give myself validation. During my year of being single, I dated myself, worked on my self-love and realised I didn’t deserve the terrible things that had happened and that actually I’m a kick-ass beautiful Queen! Instead of feeling never enough for someone I finally knew I was exactly enough for the right person. I needed to find this self-worth within myself before I met anyone else because if I didn’t know my worth how could anyone else? Even now when my worth has been tested in relationships all over again I know I’m strong enough to give myself validation for my successes in life because truthfully not everyone will always be rooting for you. Whether it’s jealousy or whatever the problem, it’s within them and if they can’t be jumping for joy and celebrating with you in life – is that really someone you want in your life? So when something good does happen in your life or career celebrate this! Even if you feel like no one wants to celebrate with you don’t let that ever stop you because that happy, grateful vibration while celebrating will attract even more abundance into your life. If a family member, friend or partner wants to miss out then so be it you don’t need them Queen to validate your success or you as a person – you are enough always and that’s a damn fine reason to celebrate.
What I’ve learnt over the last few years of my life is that the biggest cheerleader in your life is always going to be yourself. You’ve got to trust the Universe, it’s plan and know you are always enough. Don’t apologise for being you, don’t shrink yourself or dull down your message to fit in. You are unique and that’s exactly how it should be and to the right lover, friend, company, publisher or whoever you always will be enough and celebrated but you’ve got to know your own inner power first. Do you know how awesome you are? Let’s talk about how far you’ve come the last few years, the challenges and struggles you’ve faced and you’ve 100% survived them all so far. We very rarely look back and take note of our growth, transformation and up-levelling. Spiritual awakenings can be messy and then we get mini further awakenings along this journey to add to this messy masterpiece – so think back to the Queen you were 3 years ago and take note of how far you’ve come. Think about the hard times, the cracking open and the lessons – look at how they’ve shaped you and taught you to be strong and independent. Everything happens for a reason and you should be so proud of how far you’ve come. Today I want you to celebrate yourself by writing a self-love list of all the reasons why you’re bloomin’ awesome. Once you’ve listed everything down I want you to read this out in the mirror whilst looking into your eyes and once you’ve read out each point finish with ‘(Name) I really really love you’. I also want you today to treat yourself to something it doesn’t matter how big or small but make sure it’s something that will signify a celebration of you being you! Maybe you’ve had some good news recently and you haven’t celebrated yet? This is your opportunity to truly celebrate, give yourself permission to be unapologetically you and know that you are more than enough. No one can ever give truly give you that validation you seek in life you’ve got to give it yourself Queen. You don’t need a boss to tell you you’ve done a good job or a parent to tell you they’re proud of you. You can absolutely give this all to yourself right now by believing in your powerful, sexy, strong self.
I hope this blog post has helped you and allowed you to see why you need to be your biggest cheerleader in life. As always please do let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Don’t forget you can also purchase my book Spiritual Queen worldwide now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Waterstones. I hope you all have a fantastic week whatever you are up to and I’m sending you all lots of love xx