Often we go in search for strength or wish that we had the strength to handle adversity in life. This week I wanted to share with you what my version of strength means to me and my top tips on building strength and handling what life may throw at you.
After recently speaking out about being single again a lot of comments that were made were about how ‘strong’ or ‘brave’ I was. It felt weird to hear this as I didn’t feel very strong or brave at all, far from it and it got me questioning what strength really means and how we actually build strength in life. Just like a muscle, strength is built through resilience just as Brene Brown discusses in her book ‘Daring Greatly’. When you show up in the area of life you’re going to get knocked down, be rejected, feel helpless and it’s your job to get back up and keep fighting. Often that’s the moment of true strength it’s almost not even a decision or a choice – you sink or swim, live or die and you have no option but to pull yourself back up and try again. Often the post you see, talk or inspiration someone shares with the world is the after effect. It’s more of a necessity and in my case, it simply was addressing unanswered questions.
The real strength for me was in my darkest days, when I wanted to give everything up but kept going, every time I was knocked down I got back up and kept fighting. I remember Rachel my psychic saying to me over 3 years ago now when I spiritually awakened, that after this (my previous break up) I would have the strength of a lion. At first, the concept baffled me but after another 3 years of intense lessons, up levelling and growth – I finally feel my roar. My roar comes from being knocked down so many times in life, but once again as Brene says you get back up, dust yourself off and keep fighting for what it is your working for. This can be applied to all area’s of your life and this is something I struggled to see as no one talks about real strength, the darkest days, the rejections, setbacks and adversity that’s happened to that person. We see a polished, accomplished person and think they must have had an easy ride. So when we get knocked down in the arena our ego’s spiral into victim mode, we brand ourselves a failure and think it can’t be meant for us because we’ve fallen.
Wrong. Every business, every person, every relationship, every friendship, every god damn thing in this Universe is a lesson for us, it allows us to grow as a person and that’s life. If you were to have a smooth, easy road to your desire then would you be grateful for it when it arrives? I doubt you would be. Our greatest achievements in life will come with big learning curves and once again this all comes down to comparison. We compare ourselves to others, others achievements or failure’s but the problem is people don’t talk about the hardships or adversity in life only the positive’s. Real strength is going against the grain, fighting for what you believe in and making a change. That to me is brave and takes real strength and a lot of this comes down to perspective.
Some people’s molehills could be mountains to others and all pain is valid because you feel it, what I mean by perspective is looking at your problems on a collective scale. I want you to call the brave ladies fighting for their bodies and abortion in America right now brave. The activists around the world creating change, fighting for peace, freedom and equality – these people are my heroes, these people are strong and brave because their change makers going against all odds to fight for what they believe in. To me that is brave, not what I did. My bravery came from what happened afterwards and in my darkest days when no one knew I was suffering, the countless times I was brought to my knees by the Universe and wanted to give up on everything but I had to get back and fight for what I believe in.
So my top tips for finding strength in times of adversity would be to gain perspective on your situation, it may feel like a mountain to you and like your whole world is crumbling around you – but how many things are you blessed with and can be grateful for? Think about your health, your freedom, your privilege and all the things so many have to fight for nowadays. Like I said that doesn’t mean your pain isn’t valid it is, it’s taking you out of victim mode and realising that you can rise again and succeed in the arena of life. You can’t just magically become a strong person or handle adversity with wishful thinking, truthfully it takes resilience just like building a muscle at the gym. It’s a practice that takes time and being knocked down to get back up again. Real strength doesn’t come from giving up, it actually comes from listening to your intuition and following that regardless of what anyone else will say. It’s standing up for yourself, for your rights and knowing you deserve the world. I know many will ask how do you know if your being knocked down to focus on something else entirely and that’s why it’s not working out? Truthfully you’ll just know, it will feel done, the situation will feel peaceful and intuitively you’ll be gravitating towards closure and wanting to explore other options. Recognise what is ego and what is intuition if you can feel peace, happiness and gratitude towards trying something new then that to me would indicate if your intuition matched maybe it is time to try a new route. If you feel like a failure, you want to hide away, you feel rejected and in victim mode say ‘hi’ to your ego because that is your call to shine light upon this and get back up Queen and try again. The Universe is never testing you it’s simply giving you an opportunity to prove all that you say you are.
“Don’t see the Universe bringing you to your knees as a failure, see it as an opportunity to rise and prove just how much you believe in yourself and your dreams.”
Nothing worth having comes easy and I stand by that. In my career, I was so used to being knocked down, rejected, or getting setbacks when they did happen I just got back up straight away, dusted myself off and said ‘fuck it’. I kept following my desires no matter what because I believed in them and myself more than I believed the rejections or feedback that told me I wasn’t capable – because I knew I was. My passion kept getting me back up and never once did I give up because I knew this work was ready to go and would come out into the world. Yet in my personal life when I’d get knocked down – I wouldn’t have the same outlook I’d wallow in self-pity and feel helpless. I had to slap myself into realisation and say ‘hey same rules apply here!’ You’re still going to get setbacks, rejections and adversity in your personal life and once again you’ve got to get back up, dust yourself off and say ‘fuck it’. I knew I had to take my Queen strength from my work and apply this to ALL area’s of my life. I know what I believed in yet I was allowing myself to give up because that felt easier? Well actually it really wasn’t and I guarantee if any of you are thinking of giving up in your own life right now, it won’t be easier if you’re in your ego. What’s more of a risk – getting knocked back down again or never achieving that goal at all?
Don’t see the Universe bringing you to your knees as a failure, see it as an opportunity to rise and prove just how much you believe in yourself and your dreams. I hope this blog post has helped you and maybe even been the push you needed today to get back up, brush yourself off and keep showing up in the arena of life – because I promise you will make it, you will get what you want and you will succeed. This is all strength building and think about how grateful you’ll be when you finally reach your destination. As always please do let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. Don’t forget you can also purchase my book Spiritual Queen worldwide now from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Waterstones. I hope you all have a fantastic week whatever you’re up to and I’m sending you all lots of love xx